Help with Parenting a Teenager

When parenting a teenager is harder than you expected

One minute they are chatty and affectionate, the next the door is slammed and you are not sure what you did. Adolescence is a time of huge change for them, and it can be just as unsettling for you. Many parents tell me they feel like they have lost the child they knew, or that nothing they say seems to land anymore.

Common difficulties parents bring

• Arguments that keep repeating, or silence that goes on for days
• A teenager who seems closed off, angry or withdrawn
• Struggles with rules, boundaries and consequences
• Worry about their wellbeing, friendships or choices
• Disagreements between parents about how to respond
• Feeling shut out, criticised or unappreciated

Help with communication and teenage behaviour

Teenage behaviour is often a way of communicating something that is hard to put into words. That does not mean anything goes, and it does not mean you have to accept being spoken to badly. It means that when we understand what might be underneath the behaviour, it becomes much easier to respond in a way that actually helps.

Together we can think about how you communicate, where things tend to go wrong and how you might stay steady when things get heated. Counselling is not a parenting course and I will not hand you a script. It is a space to think things through properly and work out what feels right for your family.

Looking after you too

Parenting a teenager can bring up a lot of your own feelings, including worry, guilt, anger and sometimes memories of your own adolescence. It is common for old patterns from our own childhoods to show up in the heat of an argument. Understanding that can make a real difference to how you respond.

If your teenager would like support too

Your teenager can have their own private counselling space with me, and where it feels right and helpful there may be opportunities for you to work together. You can read more about online counselling for teenagers. If tension at home is the bigger picture, my page on parent and teenager relationship difficulties may help too.

The practical bits